I will start this by saying that I have an iPhone, and it's great, I really like it. I also have an iPad that I got at my office baby shower and I'm totally loving that too-hey, I'm using it right now. But I hate those new iPhone commercials.
"if you don't have an iPhone, then you don't have an iPhone"
SO pretentious. Dear Apple: this is why people are so annoyed by you. Because you're so pretentious. I can't wait for this ad campaign to be over...
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Deep Breath
I've been feeling some pressure lately...and by lately, of course I mean the last ten and a half months. I have read book after book, guide after guide, website after website, and blog after blog trying to figure out what to do as a mom, what all my options are and trying to decide which one I actually want to do. Because as much as I enjoy work outside the house, I've kind of always felt that this is the most important job I'll have and I've hoped that this is the one that I'll be the best at.
So in all of my reading, all of talking to everyone (even the formula companies agree) that breastfeeding is the way to go and that it has tons of benefits for babies. All of my plans included this for the first nine months to a year of Leroy's life.
But.
In the hospital I wasn't really producing milk yet, which was still normal. I discovered that I have flat nipples (over-share much? Oops), apparently really flat nipples so Leroy couldn't latch on. I tried nipple shields of various sizes and Leroy hated them. Really hated them. So I went to pumping. I started off every 3 hours, pumping when baby ate, and that started to (slowly at first, then increasingly so) disintegrate my nipples. To be honest the pain was ridiculous. Jason was constantly trying to talk me out of continuing, but I didn't want to stop. We went to see the lactation consultant at the pediatrician's office. A few times. I had to slow down the pumping to 3 times a day at first so I could heal (who knew-bleeding nipples, not so fun). I'm at 4 times a day now, but when I try to do it more often, the pain starts to come back again. I'm taking the same prenatal vitamins, as well as blessed thistle and fenugreek to try to increase my milk supply, but it seems like I'm drying up anyway. I'm only getting 1 or 1.5 ounces each time I pump, which definitely does NOT even start to make a dent in the amount of milk Leroy drinks in a day.
All this pain, all this effort, all of these hours of my life and it's just going nowhere. I'm failing. And it seems like nothing that I do is making a difference. And I know this just makes me spoiled, but I've never really failed at anything that I've tried really hard at. Definitely not this hard. I'm drying up and I don't know what to do.
It seems like that is the second question that anyone asks too. 1) how old is he? 2) are you breastfeeding? And these are strangers! Jason and I have just started lying because it's easier.
I just don't want to accept defeat. Once Jason is at home again we're going to try to get Leroy to latch on again, but I really don't know how much longer I can try. If you can't tell, what I'm saying is that I'm frustrated and disappointed. And I feel like I should be doing better for Leroy.
So in all of my reading, all of talking to everyone (even the formula companies agree) that breastfeeding is the way to go and that it has tons of benefits for babies. All of my plans included this for the first nine months to a year of Leroy's life.
But.
In the hospital I wasn't really producing milk yet, which was still normal. I discovered that I have flat nipples (over-share much? Oops), apparently really flat nipples so Leroy couldn't latch on. I tried nipple shields of various sizes and Leroy hated them. Really hated them. So I went to pumping. I started off every 3 hours, pumping when baby ate, and that started to (slowly at first, then increasingly so) disintegrate my nipples. To be honest the pain was ridiculous. Jason was constantly trying to talk me out of continuing, but I didn't want to stop. We went to see the lactation consultant at the pediatrician's office. A few times. I had to slow down the pumping to 3 times a day at first so I could heal (who knew-bleeding nipples, not so fun). I'm at 4 times a day now, but when I try to do it more often, the pain starts to come back again. I'm taking the same prenatal vitamins, as well as blessed thistle and fenugreek to try to increase my milk supply, but it seems like I'm drying up anyway. I'm only getting 1 or 1.5 ounces each time I pump, which definitely does NOT even start to make a dent in the amount of milk Leroy drinks in a day.
All this pain, all this effort, all of these hours of my life and it's just going nowhere. I'm failing. And it seems like nothing that I do is making a difference. And I know this just makes me spoiled, but I've never really failed at anything that I've tried really hard at. Definitely not this hard. I'm drying up and I don't know what to do.
It seems like that is the second question that anyone asks too. 1) how old is he? 2) are you breastfeeding? And these are strangers! Jason and I have just started lying because it's easier.
I just don't want to accept defeat. Once Jason is at home again we're going to try to get Leroy to latch on again, but I really don't know how much longer I can try. If you can't tell, what I'm saying is that I'm frustrated and disappointed. And I feel like I should be doing better for Leroy.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
...and let's see how this goes
Today is my second day at home alone with baby Leroy. Jason is on his second day of a 48 hour shift, which means tonight will be my 3rd straight night of solo baby feedings...3rd night in a stretch of 7, since this 48 hour shift is at the beginning of a new segment (Jason usually works 24 hours at a time, every other day for 3 shifts, then gets 4 days off). So, since he has to wake up all night, potentially, at work, I take the nights before he goes into work as well, which totally makes sense when you think about it, but is perhaps kind of crazy in practice...who knows, it's going ok so far, but I guess we'll have to chat again come night 6 or 7.
Additionally, I'm trying really hard not to be a baby hermit, where I just stay in the house for days on end. Today we went to Target, and visited Jason at work, since his station is only a couple of miles away from the house. However, some days it is just too much of a chore to get everything together to leave.
Additionally, I'm trying really hard not to be a baby hermit, where I just stay in the house for days on end. Today we went to Target, and visited Jason at work, since his station is only a couple of miles away from the house. However, some days it is just too much of a chore to get everything together to leave.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Way More Effective Than Any Alarm
Ok, so I realized that I would be changing a lot of diapers for baby Leroy. I even knew to watch out for pee (those boys are sneaky), and I've done a pretty good job of it so far-Jason is the one who usually gets peed on to tell you the truth, but I did not realize that I was in store for this.
So I'm changing the baby, slightly groggy since it's 4:30 in the morning, and I clean him off, grab his new diaper and adjust about to slide it under him when there is a loud noise cming from the table and, what's this? My hand is now covered in hot goop (and not the kind Gweneth is talking about). OH MY GOD IT'S PROJECTILE POOP. Because it was not just poop. None got on the changing table even though that's where his little butt was, it's all over my hand and arm instead. And for those of you blessedly not familiar, it is oddly sticky. And leaves a sticky residue even after I've done a surgeon-style scrub up to my elbows.so that was my awesome wake up call this morning...
So I'm changing the baby, slightly groggy since it's 4:30 in the morning, and I clean him off, grab his new diaper and adjust about to slide it under him when there is a loud noise cming from the table and, what's this? My hand is now covered in hot goop (and not the kind Gweneth is talking about). OH MY GOD IT'S PROJECTILE POOP. Because it was not just poop. None got on the changing table even though that's where his little butt was, it's all over my hand and arm instead. And for those of you blessedly not familiar, it is oddly sticky. And leaves a sticky residue even after I've done a surgeon-style scrub up to my elbows.so that was my awesome wake up call this morning...
Sunday, March 13, 2011
One Month Down, One Million To Go...
Well, no posts for a while, but I think I have a pretty good excuse :). Now that I have officially been a mom for a month, I am really loving it, but there have definitely been some hard times as well. First, Leroy is adorable and such a good baby. He's not very fussy and is a pretty good sleeper (most of the time), even though that means that he sleeps for 3-4 hours at a time, so we still need to get up a few times in the middle of the night...and that is not that easy. But, he has big blue eyes that melt my little heart when he stares up at me.
He loves going for walks with me, either in him moby wrap (which is awesome) or in his stroller (we got a BOB, that we also love-super easy to steer and much less bumpy than other strollers), and I'm liking the walks too, it really helps to leave the house, and I'm sure the activity isn't hurting the pounds that are still waiting to come off. It also doesn't hurt that because I'm in LA, it's about 75 degrees outside.
We've had some issue with latching on during breastfeeding, so I've been pumping and giving him breast milk that way, which is kind of a bummer, but he seems happy and healthy, so how bad can it be?
He loves going for walks with me, either in him moby wrap (which is awesome) or in his stroller (we got a BOB, that we also love-super easy to steer and much less bumpy than other strollers), and I'm liking the walks too, it really helps to leave the house, and I'm sure the activity isn't hurting the pounds that are still waiting to come off. It also doesn't hurt that because I'm in LA, it's about 75 degrees outside.
We've had some issue with latching on during breastfeeding, so I've been pumping and giving him breast milk that way, which is kind of a bummer, but he seems happy and healthy, so how bad can it be?
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